and yes, i should be cleaning my apartment, but i don’t want to.
i am sorry if that makes me a completely worthless human being.
that’s how it feels, too.
but i just don’t effing WANT to effing CLEAN my effing apartment.
it is way too overwhelming and i don’t feel like it!
it is amazing how quickly my apartment became totally cluttered. i’ve only lived there for a year and before i moved in, i got rid of practically everything i owned. time for another purge and another move probably within a year.
saw the new disney animated feature Tangled with my mom and my daughter yesterday. i love disney animated features! yes, i cried at the end. my mom thought it was called “Spangle” haha. when she ordered the tickets, that is what she said we wanted to see.
i used to always be offended by ‘night owl’ types.
sleep and insomnia are weird issues with me.
i know that growing up, i used to spend a lot of time with my grandma
and she had insomnia or sleep issues. she was a nurse and worked PMs. 2-11PM. in the summer time, she used to pick me and my cousin up after she got off work in the middle of the night and we would go to her house and watch Dukes of Hazzard and eat graham crackers with butter, dipped in milk.
in the morning, she would always say she didn’t sleep last night and she would take naps and relished naps. i used to hate her naps because i would sit in bed with her and we would read together (same thing i enjoyed doing with my other grandma, “grammie”) until she fell asleep and then i would go do something else off on my own while she napped. but now that i am an adult, of sorts, i realize what it means to not feel like you got any sleep.
but i used to be an insomniac as a child, anyway. most of my life, i could not go to sleep without reading first. i guess now, i use wine… and that doesn’t lend itself much to good reading before bed. then i would also ‘journal’… but i’ve come to where mostly if i try to write in a journal, i just daydream and doodle. what does that mean? does that mean i have alzheimers? or my brain is probably shrinking… most likely due to accumulated lack of sleep. eh? eh.
i’ve been thinking a lot about a haircut. i don’t want it in order to ‘have a new look’ by any means. i want my hair long. but, it just isn’t feeling very pretty to me lately. maybe it’s because i just don’t have much time to mess with it… i’ve been rubbing oils on the ends. i dunno. people pay ridic amounts of money to have someone else’s hair attached to their own heads so they can feel like they have long hair, so …. sometimes i think maybe i should appreciate what i have and stop worrying about it. also, there’s this girl at my work who had gorgeous long hair which i sometimes envied (maybe all the time) and she recently cut off like four inches and i am fixated on this fact. i’m wondering… does she feel younger? she said she cried. does she regret it? i’m torn. it’s weird when you suddenly get obsessed with the idea of a haircut, isn’t it?