my inner nerd

the last day of my long weekend is upon us.
laundry day.
some cleaning up around the ‘pad’

procrastinating by messing with this sweet photo app from picnik! it’s called Space Textures.

just can’t hide it

look what i found!!

so exciting.
so, i am guessing this is similar to how banksy works?
it’s paper glued to the wall.

to me, it’s sexy.
it’s like stealthy rebel art.
it’s like “HA! ART! IN YOUR FACE! unauthorized! illegal!”

okay, i admit, it was me. (bad grammar intentional)

cuz i am a huge rebel, like that.

just kidding. i’m not quite this cool, yet.
soon, i will be, i am hoping.

that is all.
this was like a moment of heaven that started my day out.
then i went to work and had a massage, that was actually very emotional because my back holds so much pain and tension.
a ten minute introductory massage, more like massage foreplay because now i want a two hour massage! every day!

that is what i should ask for for my birthday from my mom. again. she got me one a while back, it may have been last year. boy time really is going faster. you know it.

in this version

this is in the break room at work.

the new department is a success!
i’m glad.
it’s a totally new experience. and i am growing and learning every minute. that’s great.

this is a weird picture.
chunky adam’s peanut butter.

oh no! tomorrow’s the employee art show! yipes. insanity.
i haven’t even communicated with anyone about it. i’ll just take in a few paintings tomorrow and see what happs. they will probably say, “NO, it is TOO late. You did not practice your due diligence.” and i will go to the corner and sulk.

here is the extent of my christmas decorating thus far this year.

just haven’t had the time. not to do things the way i want. maybe saturday? always borrowing time, stealing time, wasting time, wanting time, taking too much time!!! etcetera.

look! i bought vegetables, cut them up and made a soup! excite bike!

also i took pictures of the whole process and the results and every other thing possibly imaginable under the sun.

i saw the Squeeze In that’s in Truckee. you can see why it’s called that. it’s in a very narrow venue? whatever. it’s long and narrow like that there ‘shotgun house’ or whatever you wanna call it.

i love this game.
i love the imagery and the putting things in order.
it’s sort of like an ocd thing.

that’s something i am enjoying about my ‘new’ job.
i get to be totally ocd about arranging items on shelves and everything that involves. also the quick assimilation of a wealth of information and knowledge about so many things! yay! i love learning!

it rewlz. (i love that there are fried eggs in this version)

everything about my christmas shopping and preparation for christmas is essentially a complete failure and disaster so, yeah… there’s that.
i have never loved ‘planning’.
people who enjoy planning things confound me.

everywhere you go

hotel pizza. pretty much blew. i think ‘extra cheese’ was ordered, which personally, i don’t think ever helps matters. pizza needs more than just cheese, otherwise it’s just melted cheese on top of bread, which is alright, but not really my idea of pizza. but to each his/her own.

i think hotels purposely make their food as bland and hum-drum as possible because that pleases the wider segment of society who stays at middle of the road hotels?
probably that’s it.

the curtains on all the windows of this building fascinated me. they seemed mysterious.

i really feel the need to improve my physical health.
i know that it is going to happen.
i feel the transition impending.
going to start eating more vegetables again.
drinking more green tea.
i would like to find a gym that i will actually go to.
i think i know which one.
just have to figure out how best to fit it into my lifestyle.
it’s pretty much right across the street from my work, (maybe a five minute walk) so i could incorporate it into my work day, sort of.

i just want to feel healthier.

my hawaiian friend, peter, likes to go to places which remind him of hawaii. his favorite restaurant is cheeseburger island style.

i only ordered two of these pork sliders (which were okay, but that cole slaw gave me massive gas! i’m sure you’re pleased to know this) but they gave me three.

i really love when hamburger buns are grilled like these are. so yum. adds just the perfect amount of flavorful crunch.

i took one home for later.

the coconut shrimp are seriously amazing! so meaty!

that mango sauce is also delightful. i could live without the fries. too many potatoes all the time. and whatever happened to hashbrowns by the way? (tangent) everyone is all about the country potatoes which to me are never good.

that’s pete.

hangnails are awesome. (not!) (ew, gross)

oh yeah, i bought a canvas yesterday.

i think i want to get some christmas lights and decorate up a little around here today maybe?

ain’t it great to be

went to Virginia City and took 99 photos. then my memory was full.
i don’t really have time to post them all right now and that’s just too many pics. so i guess i’ll just use them in installments.
why am i telling the internet this?
why do i talk to the internet?

file this under existential angst.

in candy shop.

something sweet probably would make me feel better….
on top of the world for a few minutes, right?
pms-ing, craving chocolate, emo to the moon…

i had to try their honeycomb candy.
it is my mission in life to prove to myself that the best honeycomb candy i’ve ever had still has not been beat(en?)
has not been defeated… super-ceded…
Nelsons Candy shop in the little historic mining town of Columbia, California.
all these little mining towns “tourist traps” as some might call them
are pretty much the same….

you know, just like fairs… or malls… commercialized and cookie-cutter-ized. i am in the mood to make up words. nothing wrong with that, is there?

what am i getting at?
i don’t know, really.
i’m just pondering.
it’s something about shared experience and shared consciousness.
repetition… marketing… but large masses of people are exposed to similar, human created environments to create this carefully crafted sense of ‘familiarity’

okay, i’m going off the rails here, aren’t i?

this is going to be the hottest day of the year and i will be working a closing shift tonight (but it’s ‘my friday’)
running on empty physically and emotionally (sort of)
it’ll probably be good for me.

fiber is fun

brought home a basil plant yesterday.
rode my bike with it and it also rode on the bus with me.
i felt like i could be a person who has a pet plant she carries around everywhere with her.
i was wearing a green t-shirt, too, and the plant sort of blended well with it.

this is me being a hypocrite i guess.
some say.

feelings are feelings, i say.
sometimes feelings can lead to seemingly contradictory views.

So, now i am reading The Fiber 35 diet by Brenda Watson, C.N.C.

drinking this stuff mixed with detoxitech and water.
an interesting experience. not exactly disgusting, but just strange.
i’ll have to make sure to drink lots of water.

quinoa and edamame

could it be?

i have this book of which i never tire.
it continues to teach me, even as the circumstances of my life fluctuate. Marsha Sinetar’s Living Happily Ever After.
the whole premise of the book is based on the fairy tale story of Hansel and Gretel.

last night, i was seeking the solace which it brings and i ran across this gem:

“Professor Donald MacKinnon‘s research reveals that creative people are not spared personal turmoil. Indeed, part of their high psychological health is a keen and rich inner awareness of the entire spectrum of feelings, their own and others’. Their awareness invites profound emotions:

‘The kind of psychological health that creative persons have is not an absence of conflicts but rather a troubled awareness of them. Unusually sensitive to what is not right, what is not fit, what is incomplete, the creative person has a strong drive to resolve that which is disquieting, either through a direct attack upon it or through finding a medium through which it can be given symbolic expression. (MacKinnon, 1979, p. 13)’”

i understand nothing

joe gave me a new camera as an early christmas gift/
i put the memory card from my old camera (which met an unfortunate fate of baptism in a river which then led to a short circuit) into my new camera and voila!
the pictures from my visit to Burney Falls are finally available for scrutiny.
my life as a photographer has triumphantly returned!

jethro by the bed

“Make your whole year’s plans in the spring, and your day’s plans early in the morning.” –Chinese Proverb

i am very happy now. and yeah, definitely nighttime is not the time to worry. or it is the time to worry, so best to sleep on it and wait til the morning, y’know?

“Draw a circle, not a heart, around the one you love because a heart can break but a circle goes on forever.” –Unknown

Nice advice. life is a jumble and secret messages from the universe can be found in crossword puzzles, of all places.

i think i’ve found a keeper.

let’s focus on what we want and how we want things to be. hold the ideal vision of the future and make your decisions from there.

ask the river. she will tell you all you need to know.

we’re slaves to our emotions

not a big deal.
just gary oldman.
the picture is apparently from the movie Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. which i like for multiple reasons. i love hamlet, for one. and also i love the tone of the movie. i’ve always kind of liked what i call ‘boring’ movies where it just seems like the whole purpose of the movie is to put one into a ‘mood’ just create a mood for a long time.

no, but really, no big deal.
a few months ago, i was on a kick where i saved a bunch of photos
of gary oldman onto my computer.
i’m just using them now because i have them and since my camera doesn’t work, all i have to take pics with is my cellphone (yada yada yada) and sometimes i just don’t feel like dealing with that because it seems so time consuming and the payoff isn’t that great.

so i am on my last alcoholic beverage for the night.
sad, really.
no, i don’t know.
oh wait!
i found one last beer.
one more, then bed.

oh wow.

gamblers all bukowski

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you’ve felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it’s been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.