tacos

i’ve been trying to get back into my old ‘whole body’ mentality and trying to remember to take all my supplements. especially since i have really been unpacking. in the last place i lived, i never really unpacked my boxes. i just put them in the garage and lived in denial about them.  i have SO much stuff and a lot of it is supplements and body care products from my last ‘job position’ in reno.

i am starting to use progesterone cream. i’m gonna try it out for the next two weeks before aunt flo comes to visit. we’ll see if that helps my rage-a-holism this month. it got kind of out of hand last month, mostly just at work.

i’ve been doing well since then because i am happier, now that i live in a better place and have a wonderful man in my life, plus a couple of really great friends. and a new-to-me car, now. things are looking up, for sure.

all the blossoms are out on the trees and that means time for carrie to sneeze. so i’m taking a Gaia Herbs supplement called Aller-Leaf.

ate this on haight. i’m still trying to use up all the pics i took in the city.

the bar.

okay now to the good stuff!

we ate at this wonderful place called the Alembic.

 

there was this guy sitting outside our window on the planter box. he was ‘sleeping’. our waitress went out and asked him to leave. she seemed pretty perturbed.

 

i could eat a whole jar of these! pickled quail eggs. yum yum!

i still have those little ‘skewer’ things in my purse. HA. i am weird like that. i hold onto strange little souvenirs and that is why i am a hoarder.

i had a drink which contained absinthe. it was good.

 

jerk spiced duck hearts with pickled pineapple. too good. gone in a flash!

 

and the bone marrow money shot! it was very fatty. is bone marrow fatty?

it was great.

 

that was all we had that time but we went back later for a hot dog.

 

a really yummy hot dog.

 

jason is a foodie, too. YAY!

 

one evening we found this wonderful situation of world class food carts called OFF THE GRID

 

def the place to be.

 

one of everything, please!

 

we had asian asada (my fave), roast duck, and wu shu char shui.

they were all wonderful but i think we were just totally over-stimulated by this point! i don’t know how bourdain and zimmern do it without getting burnt out and having everything start tasting the same.

i know bourdain starves himself before he goes on a shoot. like, he doesn’t eat until he does the scene. know what i mean?

 

i found these two tarot cards on the sidewalk while we were out walking.

i assumed they must have been a message to me from the universe.

 

that car is exactly what my first car was. an old BMW from the 1970′s. maybe it IS my old car?

 

i know i should smile when i am doing this but i usually feel really awkward and self-conscious when i am taking my picture in a public place like that, so it shows. heh.

so, that is pretty much all of the haight street adventure photos.

there might be a few stragglers coming up but not many.

phewf.

onto something new, eh!?

yah.

captain obvious at your service

so, i paid this hot chick to wash and massage my feet and paint my toenails.
weird.
fun.
expensive.

self-indulgent?
i’ve been thinking a lot lately about this whole female ‘grooming’ thing. it’s like a status symbol.

also some sort of female bonding ritual?
hm.

fascinating.

so yeah, the last time i had a mani/pedi was five years ago when i was pregnant with my daughter. actually more like six years because she is turning six in a week.

and then i wonder if men feel like their ‘women’ like ‘deserve’ to be ‘pampered’

when i first walked in, there was this huge place with a wall lined with chairs equipped with massage and a foot tub. acrylic, evocative of a seashell, translucent. one chick, the one pictured above. after she got started and i had asked her how long they’d been open (4 yrs), what are their busy times? weekends. i was surprised and delighted that i had the whole place to myself. perfect.

it wasn’t long, however, after i’d finished figuring out what setting i wanted the massage chair at… kneading lower back.
my feet are being massaged, soaked, clipped at. it felt like little piranhas were chomping at my toes.

my new room is upstairs (on the second storey) and looks over the rooftop like a tower. that is cool. makes me feel like a princess. and i just noticed that i can see into the neighbor’s kitchen across the street. i can watch them making supper. all ‘high-end’ and shit. haha

so anyway, after a while at the nail salon, the rest of the ladies who work there came in. one who seemed like the mom and two more who seemed like maybe sisters or an aunt and a mom. the whole time they were talking about things in their language. i am guessing vietnamese.
i enjoyed hearing them talk.
one of the women had just bought a new blouse. she showed the others, took it into the back, put it on, came out and modeled it in the mirror. she was waving her arms like a bird to watch the flounciness of the sleeves. her toenails were painted white and she wore wedge sandals and jeans. i felt like such an giant among them and so manly. haha. i wondered what they thought of me. i am not a ‘regular’ that is for sure. i went in there in my work clothes, apologizing for being so ‘grungy’ and how much i don’t love my big hands and feet. they were pleasant and i felt comforted. i didn’t really like the part where the piranhas were nipping at my cuticles, tho.

i only had my phone with me. wish i’d've had my camera, but maybe not because i might have been feeling shy. i snuck a few pics with the phone but it takes five hours to send each one to my email. grrr. my ancient technology can be quite challenging.

yes, i am on a diet.
i had a great analogy today.
i said, “imagine you are a horny dude who has taken a vow of chastity but you have all these naked beautiful women rubbing themselves up against you all the time… that is how it feels to work in my job.” i work with food. i love food. i am obsessed with food. it takes insane willpower to fight taking a bite of something every ten minutes. stress at work, in life, whatever, it’s your period and there is ALWAYS every sort of culinary delight at your disposal, every day all the time. bacon. cheese. salami. specialty items. chocolates. it’s all always everywhere. i love it but i can’t eat it all the time. there has to be a boundary. a limit.

i don’t know what those ladies thought of all my crazy color choices. they talked me out of my original color choices for my fingernail combination. i wanted robin’s egg blue. next time i am getting turquoise and orange.

hey. have you guys ever seen something like this? affluent neighborhoods of normal, well-to-do homes and then there is this one empty abandoned home on the street. grass and weeds all unkempt. building beginning to become dilapidated and notices on the door and HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? how does a home just get forgotten about?
it’s creepy and weird and neato. i like to explore those.

btw, i am in love with cat power. i want to bask in her presence.

but yeah, i was the only customer there the whole time and they were very thorough. haha that sounds weird.

normally i do not indulge myself so much. as i mentioned before. so i felt a little awkward the whole time. like, what is my motivation here? damn my phone. why does it hate me so much.

oh did i mention i almost got myself hit by a car the other day when i was riding my bike? yeah. that was yesterday. not fun. adrenaline city. i screamed. it was not good. it was funny cuz the guy whom i almost made hit me didn’t honk until after it was all over. you know how stuff like that happens so suddenly you have a delayed reaction. i am glad i lived. i am glad nothing actually happened. that would have sucked.

did i tell you that in two days i will own a vehicle? yes. a full size chevy pickup. a hand-me-down from my little brother. pretty nice, eh? yeah. i’m stoked. it’s gonna be great. you’ll see.

blogging takes too long for me.
i get tired of it.

i mean. if i could do what i want to do without it taking hours on end. you know?
i dunno.
my attention span isn’t that long.

i start jones-in’ to hit that publish button.
i can’t…. resist….

the ghost with the most

my red face is showing
i was hot and flustered from trying on twenty different pairs of jeans
the jeans pictured are my own
i hated every pair i tried on

shirt on clearance
and this is a LARGE people.
xs is for midgets

no, midget children
who are part elf.

so apparently this whole red face thing i have going on, which i find horrifying… men seem to dig. i don’t know.
maybe they like girls who are blushing.
i say it’s because i am a hothead and i am from the arctic tundra.

my sort of like i’m resigned to the fact that i am middle-aged outfit.
haha

hey, i saw a great movie today. The Descendants. So cathartic. if you really need to cry your head and face off, go to it, man.

oh, and yes, i did buy these.
ten bucks
they fit like a dream
i wanted the khaki army green. but they only had them in a 10. haha no. i am not a ten honey. in my dreams. but
the tens were only $4. but they had no stretch.

this is what i actually wore to work today.
i am SOSOSOOOOOOOOO sick of that t-shirt with the maps on it.
i hate how it has that u-shape whatever thing going on. is that supposed to be so you can tuck it in? i hate it.
maybe if i were anorexic it would look good on me.

no wait. i did NOT wear those pants.
those were sweatpants i tried on which were cool in theory but not in translation on MY body, anyway.
super cheap tho
maybe i’ll go back and buy them anyway
they were comfy
just not what i really really was looking for.

argh.
everything on clearance right now is super retro flare bell bottoms
eff that!

calvin klein’s i did not buy because they have NO elasticity whatsoever!
maybe that would be good motivation to get rid of my excess fat, tho?
but they are like $30 even on clearance. you have no idea what a cheapskate i am.

ok you know what? this is why i take photos.
i want to go back and spend another fifty bucks on all the shit i didn’t buy now. woe is me.

guess what, douchebags? (just kidding) (j/k) (lolz)

oh Pinocchio and geppetto
right?

dudes. man.
if you want to have a good time?
check out chuck e. cheese. (where a kid can be a kid) and so can you.

no but really.
i’m not kidding.

all-you-can-eat salad bar for $7.99 and i LOVE cottage cheese. you can bet i helped myself a few times.
fun.

my daughter is a sweet, precious angel.

omg i had to log out of facebook because i was overposting my super cool day.

coooooookiesssss!

i do not understand the internets.

there’s me maw and me daughter.
they both have pretty hair.
so do i.
omg i am braggin?
no.
facts.
that is all.

bought this ring for my daughter.

a watch is a really great gift, if you can get it out of the package.
i bought her those shoes.

see?

there be me ma, n me step-dad.

n me daughter.

cool book of mazes.

cool gift from uncle erik.

cool gifts for me.
no evil eye can ever have any impact on me, as i am doubly protected.
so there.

weeeee! fun!

mass quantities of tickets.

i have too many photos. dying.

okay, i can’t blog for one second longer.!!!!!!!!!
bye

in retrospect

DUDE! yesterday was really weird.
not for me but for people close to me.

so apparently this whole 11:11 stuff has to do with the Maya.

here’s where i ended up last night in all of my random adventures led by the crazy mixed-up universe who/which apparently has all kinds of crazy plans for me other than what i have planned.

i am their new sponsor.
or they are mine. whatever. i am their new figurehead spokesperson. they were looking for the matronly type. haha

yeah right. and by ‘their’ i mean ‘the universe’s’
just kidding
i am the eyes of the world

these are the kind of interesting characters you see on the light rail. fun times. there are always many.

i am a sucker for hot dogs.
wait.
haha

beautiful christmas lights.
i shopped around the mall but nothing was really that cheap. they try to trick you into thinking there is some big sale going on. idk.
not really. i’m not that dumb.

this big gay guy who worked at f21 was all about my walmart faux leather jacket. he kept on saying he loved it because he LOVES denim jackets. k? i saw another skinnier chick wearing the same jacket in grey (in the same store) he said he liked the green better! haha. what a playa.

thanks!

i walked home from work today.

some of the pretty sights.

had to take a moment to enjoy the day.

gisella came over last night and had this beer.

i like to go visit these ducks and i say to them “hey DUCKS!”
i don’t think they really understand.
nor do they likely care.

this was on my walk home.
i was quite displeased.
i don’t mind walking if it is for pleasure and if i am not carrying heavy things.

my walk home is super long. an hour.

getting ready for the day!

this is MY ROOM! and all this stuff is MINE!

my friend cooked us breakfast.

mmmm chorizo and eggs.

these were the helpers.

kevin brought the meat!
i might have a little crush on kevin.
hey, why not.

here are the beggars.

here was my creation.
i haven’t eaten it.
saving it for later.

it is ridiculously huge.

i look ominous.

my travels of late

so… let’s go back, shall we?
i went on an airplane. well, four different airplanes in two days, to be exact. the definition of a whirlwind trip.

i took lots of pics of the airplane wing. it’s been many years since i’ve flown. over ten years.

i think this was somewhere above sacramento.

i fly swa. they can turn a plane in 20 minutes. whatever that means.

exciting snacks. tomato juice.

woo hoo! livin’ the high life, right?

this is LA

swimmin’ pools. movie stars.

i know, i am no movie star.
and i am gross for taking my coffee into the airport bathroom.
i was accosted with germs from every direction on the entire trip, tho. so whatevs.

i took my immunity supplements.

not sick yet, fingers crossed.

LAX.
haha
nice hat, right?

airport bagel breakfast. $4.75 (thanks, mom)
good thing we got it since they don’t serve food on the 3 hr flight to missouri from LA.

i think this was descending on Kansas City, MO

sorry this is the longest post known to man.

those are my son’s feet. we were at a fruit stand in missouri.

i wish he would have filmed our experience there because it was quite hilarious and memorable.

home-jarred pickled eggs. so cool! reminds me of Dances With Wolves. i was always fascinated by the jar of pickled eggs that one guy had on his stagecoach thingy.

this is the house where my son lives.

i am wearing a silly cow hat because that is what i am. a silly cow! XD

here i am with my new grandson and my ex-husband.

i think this was above seattle.
i had a lovely salted caramel mocha there but by the time i went to take a pic of it all the pretty stuff was melted. boohoo. tasted great, tho.

yeah. seattle. mhm.
i love the atmosphere there so much. too bad i couldn’t spend more time. i did hang out there once, tho. a long time ago. when i was like 24 or something. so beautiful and fun.

ok. that’s long enough, y’all. hope you found it somewhat interesting. it’s been a busy week!

pretender

do some people seem more ‘real’ to you than others?
what does that mean?
isn’t everyone real?

maybe people seem more real to me when they have the same type of demeanor as i have? or the same type of general ‘goal’ in life. ‘role’ in life?

each person sees things through a different lens.
do some people seem like they are trying to ‘put on airs’?
trying to heavily influence your perception of them?
manipulate your perception of them.
well, that’s human. isn’t it?

i can’t imagine what it would be like to be ‘famous’ or even on any higher/more advanced social level than what i am currently managing (which is scant, let me tell you)
i feel overwhelmed just by a few interactions in a day, sometimes. the more human interaction i have the more i need to recuperate and get away from it all.

so, i try to seek a minimal amount. reminds me of when i was in high school, i would spend most of my lunches in the library, reading. i enjoyed the solitude, but still the ability to spy on people. i would go outside and do a little interacting, a walkthrough of the quad, maybe. same thing now, at my work. i might see who’s in the breakroom but usually (and the more populated i find it), i sneak off to a room where i can hide and not have to hear people talking or listen to the t.v.

at the same time, i do want to talk to people, but i want to have a certain type of interaction. we all have an agenda. i want to talk to the ‘real you’ not your persona, really. if you understand.

cut to the chase, so to speak. sort of…
i don’t want to interact with the ‘social’ you.

i’m not saying there is no value in ‘social’ behavior/personas per se. a lot of very successful and happy people are very sociable. and i don’t consider myself to be a great success, other than just as a survivor, sort of. i am just saying i don’t know how people do it!

but some people are very energetic or charismatic or sociable or ambitious…. etc.

i guess my general outlook is, hey, we are all in this together and none of us really knows what’s really going on, ultimately… none of us really knows why we are all here or how we got here or what we are doing, so “hi, what’s up”

come on, admit it: human life is weird.

and i am not 100% sure what i want or what i am doing! how can i be when there are so many factors operating in the universe? how can i influence them all? do i have that power? how much power do we have? is it as much as we think we have?

i guess i just don’t want it to be a competition. i don’t want to compete with other people. i don’t like power plays. i think i’ve rambled enough on this subject.

a necessary unnecessary ritual

breakfast. i was starving. this was the first thing i ate all day, at eleven a.m. no salt, even.

which hat should i pick?

what? so my blog isn’t cool enough for you now that my camera died? my blog is about my life and currently in my life this is the situation. so. deal and adapt. and the next development will be a new camera so chill people.

whatever show this is i am watching right now, i like it. oh. it’s called ‘Til Death. life is so funny sometimes. especially when i am done working for the day and having a glass of wine while i blog and watch lame sitcoms on t.v.

real pain for my sham friends

i got many compliments on my hair today.
i used hot rollers.
so fast and easy!
and the curls actually STAY!
why didn’t i think of this before?
actually, i’ve gone through phases.

nice. hm.

oh, these are new.
lovely.

i really need to spend more time giving myself eyebrows. and probably eyeliner on my lower eyelash-line? that seems like a really awkward everything sentence right there.

look! a bunny rabbit in the downtown casino parking lot.

boob cups to drink out of are all the rage in reno.
you didn’t know?
classy, right?

i had to walk for thirty minutes tonight (it was by choice)
except it was excrutiatingly boring due to the fact that i just wanted to be home and need a wormhole portal so can travel through time and not have to wait for time when it is too slow! lame, i sound just like that adam sandler movie about the time travel remote control.
it would just end up ruining my life even more, like eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

but yeah, my eyebrows kinda bug me.